The sibilance and assonance are really satisfying. I am also a huge fan of using italics to quote or differentiate voices in poetry. Really well done. I'm usually into longer lines, but the informal ryhme schema here kept pulling me through the poem.
You expose the grotesque tenderness of a system that tells us we are cogs, then calls it empowerment. That sells sedation, then calls it self-care. That strips meaning from our days, then chastises us for wandering minds, as if wonder were a sin, as if yearning were disorder, as if being human were an inefficiency to correct.
Heads down. Wow. You keep the momentum and the downward movement right the way through. The pressure of conformity compresses and crushes the language of the poem/and the narrator’s spirit.
Cool rhythm and flow in dystopia
Thank you, Ray!
The sibilance and assonance are really satisfying. I am also a huge fan of using italics to quote or differentiate voices in poetry. Really well done. I'm usually into longer lines, but the informal ryhme schema here kept pulling me through the poem.
You expose the grotesque tenderness of a system that tells us we are cogs, then calls it empowerment. That sells sedation, then calls it self-care. That strips meaning from our days, then chastises us for wandering minds, as if wonder were a sin, as if yearning were disorder, as if being human were an inefficiency to correct.
I'm glad it resonated.
Beautiful piece ❤️
Heads down. Wow. You keep the momentum and the downward movement right the way through. The pressure of conformity compresses and crushes the language of the poem/and the narrator’s spirit.
Thanks for sharing.
Oof.
Hi I’m new here!Let’s subscribe to each other?
You first. lol.